03.06.2026
Happy June!!! I wanted to do this entry days ago but then one of
my linked images stopped linking, then neocities was down for half
the day, and then other things that stopped me in my tracks. But!
I'm here now! Celebrating yet another month gone! And like every
month recently, there's quite a few things that've happend.
For starters, I've officially finished my A-Level career. I've done
my last exam, so, I'm officially done! It feels so surreal. Two
years of school, two years of my life, finished. It seems so
unceremonious, honestly. Mostly because we don't have an end of year
prom or any end of school year celebration. We don't even come in
for our results, we get them online (I'm pretty sure.) I guess I'm
used to celebration for these events. It's a HUGE loss but yknow.
Anyways, I've suceeded in formal education! I'm proud of me! Now,
just to wait for my results...euuugh I'm trying not to think about
it too much. I don't feel worried per se, just naturally nervous.
Next month is when I officially turn 18! Eighteen! Legal adult age!
I have NO idea how I feel about this even now. Just nervous and weird.
It feels unnatural because I honestly still feel 16. Though, I guess age
doesn't have any specific feeling. It's just a fact of how long you've
lived, plus some legal perks. Though I don't think I'll be drinking,
driving, smoking, having sex, getting married or getting pregnant anytime soon. So, really, it's just a number for me. Like it's been every
birthday. Except now I'm expected to be adulting.
Speaking of adulting, I've been applying to jobs. It's hell, ofcourse
I've emailed and applied for maybe 30 or more different roles.
About 10 have rejected me. The others aren't responding. I've
resorted to calling because it's a lot better getting rejected
by a human voice than an email or no message at all. Atleast for
me. I have been invited to an interview though! One. Single.
Interview. I am grateful, but I can definetely see why it's so
discouraging for so many. It's brain numbing at the best of times.
Agrivating at the worst of times. I've gone out and handed CVs for
two days, just to be met with "apply online." Very frustrating, but
if I'm lucky, I'll do good at the interview and get the job. Even
then, I won't give up because, man, I actually WANT a job. I'll
probably be doing this for a lot of my life so I might as well get
a taste of it now. And I do want to make my own money. And get out
of the house.
Anyways, that's the major events of May. I have unspeakable amounts
of free time for the next few...months? Now? So I'll have to find
stuff to fill the days with. I hope I can update this site more. I'm
making references for artfight. I don't think I'll manage to make ALL
my OCs (there's about 20 of them...) so I'm focusing on 5 and seeing how
it goes. Apart from that, taking care of my health more, getting back into
my hobbies, planning for uni, learning to drive etc etc. I'm just happy
I NEVER NEVER NEVER have to do another times essay again. NEVER!!! THAT'S
THE TRUE WIN!!! Anywhho, I think that's it. I'll be back when I'm 18! Aaaah
scaryyy, but, what can we do, right?
12.07.2026
10 official days since my 18th birthday! I can't believe it, I'm an adult! Like,
an honest to god adult. Gosh, this is what I've kinda been wishing for since I
was small, and now it's real. I'm an adult. Does it feel like it? Obviously not.
I don't think being an adult (legally speaking anyway) is suppose to have a feeling.
But, it feels like it SHOULD have a feeling, yknow? Like, this is a major milestone
or that's what everyone says it should be but it sure does not feel like it.
Anyways, happy to have lived 18 years. I haven't done too bad for myself, for an
18 year old, I think. The only "not 18 year old" thing I've done is not have a
driving liscence (and a job T_T).
Speaking of which, my driving test is in a little over a week, and I'm quite nervous.
I've been revising on and off for a while but now it's hit me that I gotta do this right.
In hindsight, if I fail I fail, and waste £20 I guess. Not a huge deal, but because scheduling
and locations exist, I REALLY just wan't to get it out of the way and not think about it.
If I pass my theory now, then I can do the actual driving test basically any time, which is
better than the alternative (having to worry about all that later down the line when the real
adulting starts).
If I'm being honest, I don't even want a car. I'm just doing it for the license and to have the
bragging rights? I guess? And because my parents and every adultier adult (ugh that feels weird)
says "get your driver's license! You won't regret it!" I'm taking their word for it. It's taking
a lot longer than anyone would hope. It's taking me a while to pick up AND retain some stuff,
especially since I don't practise actually driving unless it's a lesson. Plus, I just don't like
my instructor. At all. I've tried but if I didn't have to do lessons with him, I wouldn't.
I think my learning style and his teaching style don't mesh well. And yeah, I'll admit, I am
petty about it. But I'm MORE inclined to be petty about it because I just do not like him.
And that's honestly rare for me. Usually, I'm annoyed by people, or put off by people, but
I don't usually flat out say "I don't like them." I guess he's a special case. Anyways,
I hope I pass.
On another note, global warming is a bitch. A man made bitch, which is worse. I feel like I can
barely function in this heat. I should probably go outside more because of it, since I think
the fact the heat gets trapped inside makes it worse.
Will this FINALLY have people and governments and such actual do shit about it? Uh, maybe? Maybe not?
I mean, I've tried and am trying, and since now I'm an adult I have more agency to help but, man...
It's bleak. It just looks really bleak, and I try not to think about it too much and just do my best
with what I can do. That's all you can really do, right? Your best. And keeping spirit's high, even
when everything's dismal. I try. I sometimes fall short, but damn it I try. And I'll try, for the sake
of myself and everything and everyone I love. That's all I have to live for so, why not?
It's fun how for every entry I've made on here, I'm writing more and more.
I'm getting back into creating again and man, i missed it so much. I'm working on a comic called
"Slow and Steady." I've done 3 pages but I've paused for Art Fight (60% Battle Ratio babyyy). It's so nice
being able to just create for fun again. No hate to A-Level Art but it's nice to make stuff that aren't graded.
It's very freeing, you know? Just having my thoughts and ideas flow so effortlessly, I love it. I never want it
to leave me.
I.ve also set myself an official deadline. By the end of 2026, I want to finish my long fic that's been marinating
for like 2 years. NO MORE! THATS THING IS GETTING WRITTEN WHETHER IT LIKES IT OR NOT! I think actually reading more
will help with that, it always does. I have a few books so I can try reading those.
Alright, I think that's enough from me today. Overall, happy to be 18. It gonna feel weird for a while, I think
but we persevere.